Tuesday, April 9, 2013

[Opinion Piece] Stop your crying...


I posted this before revamping my blog but i think it fits with the theme of the whole thing. Which can kind of be summed up as - Always look forward with optimism and ambition.

A Letter to the Dumped,


Stop crying. 

It may seem hopeless, it may seem like the end of the world. You may be wondering How will anybody love you like he/she did? How will anybody make you feel like he/she made you feel? Well guess what? Someone will. Someone always does. You don't have to be sad, and here's why. That person who just ended things with you just did you the biggest favor.

There are two types of people that break up with you. You can argue all you want about that but if you really think about it they fall into these categories. Person number one: A nice person who really did like you at one point and just realized that for whatever reason the relationship had to end in order for both people involved to be happy in the long run. Person number two is usually just a jerk.

Why you shouldn’t cry about person number one: Person one just had to admit to themselves that they didn't see this relationship going any further. They were remembering the time and memories you had that were wonderful and precious and they had to let go of them. Their feelings have changed, they found someone else, or they realized your paths were not going in the same direction. After realizing this they had to go to you, a person who they still care for, and break your heart.

Instead of being angry, calling them liars, or accusing them of horrible things you should listen to them. It's hard, it sucks, but if you really think about it this moment is actually kind of a happy one. Instead of blindly calling up all your friends and crying your heart out or driving home and punching a wall you could just realize that this person was just being honest with you. They didn't want to waste any more of your time. Would you have preferred if they hid their true honest feelings and pretended to still be in love with you for a few more days? Weeks? Months? Would that have helped at all? If a relationship isn't going to end in marriage then it is going to end. So ask yourself, would you want to waste all this time and end up marrying someone who was only going through the motions to save your feelings?

If the person who just dumped had been using you, or had just cheated on you, or anything else in the negative column then you should be grateful that you aren’t going to have to deal with this idiot any longer. They finally are showing you their true colors. Thank goodness that you are finally released from such a stressful relationship. I feel like during these kinds of break-ups the person being broken up with should be singing hallelujah or something.

The best way to handle both ends is simply to remain calm and if you're feeling particularly cheeky you might even thank them!

First off, because if it was person number 1 they just went through something hard and sucky just the same as you and it’s good that they are being honest, and now you can both walk away feeling a little better and maybe even have a friendship there in a little while.

As for person number 2. The best revenge honestly is not going to be crying, stalking, or screaming at them. I feel like they would probably be bothered one hundred times more if you just quietly listened, then smiled, and said, “Thanks!”

When you handle something that good you aren’t going to be wasting any more of your time replaying things in your head wishing you had said this or done that. You’re gonna think back to their perplexed, grateful, or deer in headlights face and be like, "I handled that well". And they are going to be wasting a lot of time scratching their head and wondering what the heck just happened.

Love,

Jules

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