Saturday, May 18, 2013

[Opinion Piece] Leagues and Bubbles...

I have a problem with the phrase “out of my league”. 

It just irks me to no end when people use it. I do not believe that any girl is better than any guy or any guy is better than any girl. Nobody is superior to anybody because the betters and the worses even out. Granted, not all people are created equal but that doesn’t mean anyone is better than anyone else in this world.

That being said I’m not claiming that everyone is completely compatible or that everybody is perfect. I would never claim that. Because that would mean I wasn’t allowed to dislike people. And boy do I dislike some people. What I am saying is that instead of there being these stairs where people are ranked and stocked above or below each other, I like to think of social life as empty space with a bunch of bubbles haphazardly floating around.

I may have lost you with “bubbles” but bear with me here.

These bubbles are always changing levels, bumping into each other, combining with each other, and doing all that bubble stuff. They aren’t some concrete thing, they’re fluid and evolving.

Now let’s take two stereotypical bubbles -

A guy who has spent three quarters of his life playing video games (we’ll go with Steve), and an athletic and very popular cheerleader (Tracy). Basic enough. The common things to say here are –

“She is so stuck up for not dating him, he’s a really nice guy.”
"She'll only ever date jocks."
“He’s never going to get her because she is out of his league.”
“He’s creepy and pale and only ever talks about how many headshots he got in COD. What is a COD anyway? A fish?”

The list can go on. The truth of the matter is yes, Tracy will
probably never date Steve. And why is that? Because she’s athletic, active, and she likes to try new things. He is not, he’s good at video games and he’d like to stick with that. If they tried to date it wouldn’t work out so hot. She would be bored out of her mind, or he would constantly be in a situation that makes him uncomfortable. Neither one of them is better than the other (one might be a tad healthier). They just don’t mix well. The bubbles pop.

Steve however really likes Tracy, so he decides to try out some of her interests. He starts to exercise and he goes out for sports. They meet and he still is the same guy, they just have something in common now. Maybe Tracey likes Steve and she decides to figure out what the heck a COD is. Bam! the relationship has twice the chance of surviving now. The bubbles have overlapped.

“But he/she had to change! He/she wasn’t being himself/herself!”

The all time most horrible, stupid, selfish advice ever for relationships is “Don’t change”. You want to date someone you sure as heck better be ready for some change. It’s called evolution kiddos, and it’s a good thing. I’m not saying be fake. Don’t ever be fake. You can change though. 

I guess what I’m trying to say here is that nothing is impossible. You can always get off your lazy butt and fight for things. Make things happen! You want to “play in the big leagues”, than go right ahead. 


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